He walks into the MacMillan-Bloedel office and fills out an application as an ‘experienced’ logger. It’s his lucky day. They just happen to be looking for someone. But first, the Bush Foreman takes him for a ride into the bush in the company pickup truck to see how much he knows. The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at a tree.‘See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains.’The Newfie promptly answers, ‘Dat dere’s a Sitka Spruce and she got 383 board feet a’ lumber in ‘ER.’The foreman is impressed. He puts the truck in motion and stops again about a mile down the road. He points at another tree through the passenger door window and asks the same question. This time, it’s a bigger tree and of a different class.‘Lord tunderin’! Dat’s yer Douglas Fir and she got 690 board feet.’ says the Newfie. Now the foreman is really impressed. The Newfie has answered quickly and got the answers right without. "Then we came to this extraordinary yellow statue of a woman in asleeveless dress with a scarf round her neck and with a large black marblestone behind her and what looked like a sort of Cartoon picture of agolden sun and its rays behind her head."When I die I want my grave to look like this!" I blurted out."Seriously? But you're a man," Jane whispered back sternly."Not any more!" I giggled but I had been brought back with a jolt to thereality of the situation I found myself in. I was in a foreign town whereno one knew me and I was dressed like a woman. I nervously adjusted mybra, worried that someone might realise who I was underneath theseclothes. I was conscious then of the unmistakably feminine sound of theclacking of my five inch heels as we rushed back to the gate to avoidgetting locked in the cemetery for the night.Then I got into trouble as up until then I had been walking on thepavement but as I approached the gate I thought that I could walk oncobbles in my heels. I.
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